I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
