Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
