stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
