If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
