There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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