He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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