I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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