Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
