4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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