So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
