Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize