my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
