Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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