You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
