Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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