so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
