My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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