is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
And then he peed in my hair
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
