"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
