Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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