Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
