Buhtt sex?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize