we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
