is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
