I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
