They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
