It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
