Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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