Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize