I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
