I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
