so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
