on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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