Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
