omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
