Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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