Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
