She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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