I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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