my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
