Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize