I hate your face
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
