I cockslap morals
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We have started to decorate penises.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
