I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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