just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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