I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
