When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
