why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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