Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
