'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
