If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
