Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
