Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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