I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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