It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
