Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize