HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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