It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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