allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
