The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
