nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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