Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
