It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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