I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
