I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
