why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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