This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize