Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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