I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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