Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize