I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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