What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Two words: blizzard sex
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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