She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
