covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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