I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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