brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Randomize
