Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Apparently you make a good broom.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
