I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
