I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
