What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
