This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
